Posts Tagged ‘Author Interview’
Exclusive Interview with Jasmine Becket-Griffith
Jasmine Becket-Griffith is a world-renowned fantasy artist whose work can be viewed around the world and is licensed by Disney, Hot Topic, and Spencer’s. Most recently, Jasmine has taken her artwork and turned it into a fantastical Oracle deck, along with author Lucy Cavendish. In Oracle of Shadows and Light, Jasmine’s art brings to life dark, magical beings. From gumpy fairies, sassy witches, cheey ghosts, and brazen beings, Jasmine’s character’s guide users through the veil and into the magickal world of shadows and light.
Today, we sat down with Jasmine to discuss her art. You can visit Jasmine’s website at Strangeling.com.
1) What inspired you to become an artist?
I’ve always enjoyed drawing & painting, when I was a little girl I think that was my favourite way of spending any sort of free time. I kept at it—I started taking painting more seriously in middle school, and by the time I was in high school I was selling my artwork. I begain “professionally” back in 1997—I was 17 years old, graduating from high school, and decided to set up my strangeling.com website to show my work on the internet. After a few years, I realized I was making a good living at it and ended up quitting my day job at Dairy Queen to do my artwork fulltime. Not long after, I hired my husband, Matt, to work for me as my assistant, and then more family members as well. I genuinely can’t think of a way I would rather spend my time than painting; I am a compulsive painter and spend most of my waking hours at my painting desk. I’m very thankful that I’m able to have a career doing what I love the most.
2) Why do you enjoy painting fantasy?
I have a very active imagination. Over-active, I suppose. I like to create my own world and painting lets me shape things to my ideals. Why paint a boring lady when you could make her into a mermaid instead? Most interior, still life paintings could be spruced up with a few dinosaurs prowling about. No landscape is complete without a dragon. I like to paint things I find beautiful, but better and more interesting than they are in “real life”. If I wanted just a picture of a horse, I could always just take a nice photo—but a unicorn…that lets me put some more creative work into it!
3) How has your style evolved over time?
When I was younger I didn’t pay as much attention to detail and basic technical skills in drawing & painting. I think I was more impatient and more concerned with getting an idea out on paper, whereas now I will spend more time on structure, shading, detail, and color so that a painting can be more pleasing aesthetically and artistically as well as a fun concept. Mostly it’s just decades of hours of daily practice, more than anything else. While most of the genres and basic characters I’ve explored over the years haven’t necessarily changed, my approach and methodology has gotten a lot more refined. I spend a lot of time studying art history and the painting techniques from the masters and try to implement knowledge from the past into my own contemporary works.
4) You seem to draw a lot of inspiration from mythology, fantasy, fairy tales, etc. Why are you drawn to these themes?
These are the themes that have always captured my imagination. Our mythologies and fairytales are some of what I love best about human beings. I think there are often deeper truths behind much-told tales and that many of these stories are timeless. The concepts and characters in the cultural traditions of folklore and spirituality are just as relevant today as they ever have been. Also, I think that classic fantasies and mythologies really lend themselves well to a variety of visual interpretations unique to every artist who approaches them, so that’s always fun!
5) What advice do you have for young adults who think they might want to become an illustrator or artist?
The most simple and obvious advice I have is to simply CREATE. Paint or draw as much as you can. If you get bored or tired—maybe it’s not a good career choice (art can always be a part-time hobby!)—because as a career it involves a phenomenal amount of work. If it’s not something you genuinely enjoy, you wll get burned out. Focusing on basic skills—learning to draw from life, paint realistically, find out what materials work best with how you express yourself—these are all important foundations. I also suggest studying and reading about art history and illustration to help put your own work into the context of what already exists. Definitely focusing on the actual ART side of things before worrying about the business/money side of things is very important—it is your art and your creativity and love of creating that will carry you ahead, and the rest will follow.
6) Is there something you’ve always wanted to paint but never been able to? Why?
As opposed to subject matter (I pretty much get to paint whatever I want!) my main restrictions that I’d like to overcome are the SIZES of paintings I do. I would love to paint some really BIG paintings! I get very inspired visiting the Louvre in Paris or the National Gallery in London and seeing the ENORMOUS 30 foot wide paintings on massive canvases in the large halls. I think it would be so much fun to paint so big! But, of course, logistics kick in (such as my studio only being about 12 feet wide, or a canvas that large not fitting through my front door, and who would even have room to hang it up?). Also, I’d love to pull a Michaelangelo and do a magnificent ceiling painting a la the Sistine Chapel. Once again though, it’s not yet feasible for me. But some day we shall see…
Exclusive Interview with Dr. Lani Leary, author of No One Has to Die Alone
Dr. Lani Leary, author of No One Has to Die Alone, provided us with an exclusive interview. Her research and experience with the ill and dying provides readers with tangible ways to cope with death, bereavement, and grief.
How did you come to write No One Has to Die Alone?
I began writing when I was 13 years old after my mother’s sudden and unexpected death as a way to help myself understand my feelings, process my grief, and cope with her loss. I have been writing ever since. As I worked in hospices with dying patients, friends and professionals often asked me: “What do you do? What do you say? What gets you through all the sadness?”
Years later when I was a professor of death studies, my graduate students reported that the experiential exercises that confronted their fears, assumptions, and inexperience with dying had a significant impact on their relationships, health, and life choices. They referred to that class as “Graduate Soul Work.” It became evident to me that there was a great need to speak to those issues surrounding death that were “in the closet,” and that so many did not know how to begin talking about. This book was originally titled Ten Things I Wish I Had Known Before My Mother Died.
I spoke at a conference for the Foundation of End of Life Care. The program was filmed and aired on public radio, and was the most requested rebroadcasted show. Letters from viewers, patients, families, and professionals led me to believe that others might benefit from the lessons I have learned over the past 25 years working with more than 500 dying patients and thousands of grieving family members.
What is the one thing you want readers to take away after reading your book?
I want readers to know that they can make a difference: that they have more power and more choices in the way that they can respond to the challenges of illness, dying, and grief. I want them to embrace their ability to adopt healthy, healing attitudes and learn new skills that will help their loved ones live right up to the moment of their last breath. I want those left to grieve to know that they can cope, feel and honor all of their feelings, and grow from the experience of responding to end-of-life needs and their experience of loss. I want readers’ fears and misconceptions about death, dying, illness, and grief to change so that we can accept all of life and respond with compassion.
What do you feel sets this book apart from other books on the subject?
There are many helpful books on the market about death, dying, and grief but many are replete with theory, data, or stories that end without being “translated” into immediate, practical, and realistic action items that the reader can use in their personal situation. Readers will benefit from this book because I have broken down the theories and stories into meaningful ways the reader can apply the information.
The book introduces “ways to say it” to help people begin difficult conversations and help people feel comfortable responding to painful situations. There are chapters describing activities that children can help with in order to reduce mitigate fears, teach them skills, and include them in this sacred transition. The book helps parents know what to expect, what to address, and how to talk to their children during illness, dying, and bereavement. And to respond to professionals’ report that they often feel helpless in the face of a terminal illness, the book reports how to respond to what the dying have told me most matters to them. This book will raise readers’ confidence to be able to engage and “stay the course,” and in so doing, will bring relief to their dying and grieving loved ones.
What are the biggest misconceptions that we have about death?
The greatest misconceptions in our culture about death are that death is:
-A failure. (As when someone judges that “the patient did not try hard enough…or the illness was their fault.)
-A punishment. (There is often a distinction between “exceptional cancer patients” or those in remission versus those whose illness is progressing. While we are responsible for caring for ourselves, there are many causes of decline that are out of our control.)
-A “dial tone” or the end of consciousness. (Extensive research and reports from all over the world and hundreds of millions of people who have a near death experience refutes this theory)
-Painful. (Based on what patients who have been resuscitated report, what the family may observe on the “outside” is not what the patient is experiencing on the “inside” during the process of letting go.)
-Is the enemy, a negative that should be fought at all cost. (The dying report that in many circumstances, when the body’s condition and the quality of life can not be resumed, the end of illness is a reprieve and a relief. The dying do not fear their imminent death after irreversible decline as much as they fear being emotionally abandoned and physically shunned.)
-Means your loved one has abandoned or left you. (One’s interpretation of a death or the meaning attributed to the death can cause years of exacerbated grief and pain.)
-Is the end of a relationship. (One of the tasks of healthy grief is to come to an understanding of the ongoing-ness of love and the relationship with the deceased, that is, to “place” them someplace.)
Is there are “right” way to grieve?
There are as many ways to grieve as there are people. Grief is personal and unique to each individual, like a fingerprint. Children will grieve differently in intensity, duration, and language than adults. Masculine grief is expressed differently than feminine expressions of grief. Generations demonstrate and talk about their grief differently. All people come to their own understandings and attribute different personal meanings to their loss.
How one moves through their grief depends on several factors. Some of the factors include: the coping strategies learned in life; the experiences one has with previous deaths; the quality of the relationship with the deceased; the circumstances of the death; one’s religious beliefs and customs of support; the emotional support from family and friends; and the meaning attributed to the death.
As there is no right way to grieve, there is also no right amount of time to grieve. Each person finds their own timetable and may experience their grief in waves or spurts of different intensity that come up suddenly many years after a loss. Anniversary reactions are common, and sensory reminders of a loved one can return the bereaved to the center of their grief at any time.
If we are to be helpful, it is best that we not judge, compare, direct, or use language that includes “should”, “must”, or “need to” when comforting the bereaved. We do not need to understand another’s grief in order to be helpful; rather, we are most helpful when we are present, open, and validating. Denial may be part of the process of grieving and can be a protective coping response to an experience that is perceived as threatening and overwhelming.
Helene Lerner author of In Her Power – Exclusive Interview
We recently sat down with Helene Lerner, author of In Her Power and founder of WomenWorking.com, a worldwide community of businesswomen and experts. In Her Power give women the tools needed to achieve confidence, creativity, and intimacy in every aspect of life.
How did you come to write In Her Power?
In Her Power draws on over thirty years of my experience supporting women. I have been able to have a unique impact on them as a result of the life lessons I’ve learned in overcoming my own struggles with destructive overeating and depression.
The world today is in a desperate place and I believe that the connective power of women can unify rather than destroy nations. That’s why it was so important for me to write this book now and to have more women stand in their power.
What makes your book so different than what’s been written in the past?
My company Creative Expansions, Inc. has been in existence for over a decade and through various forms of media — television specials, one of the premier websites for career women WomenWorking.com, and speaking engagements — I’ve had access to a huge network of women. The book is filled with their experiences as well as my own. Through these stories, in addition to reflections and exercises, readers are asked to go deeper and explore what has been blocking them from fully expressing their power. The book deals with nine aspects of a woman’s power and the veils or false beliefs that get in the way. It also introduces the three Spiritual Power Muscles: Connective, Creative and Courageous.
The Dalai Lama prophesized that “the world will be saved by the Western woman,” and yet despite incredible advances, the majority of women still feel they have not accessed their full potential. Why do you believe that is?
Often we’re locked into false beliefs that don’t allow us to access our full potential and keep us stuck. We’re not thinking big enough about ourselves. The way out is to know that we are bigger than that and to listen to our inner truth, our intuition. We need to break habits that are based upon false beliefs and courageously move into areas that may feel uncomfortable. For many of us, it’s stepping outside our comfort zone to experience our power and magnificence.
Women are routinely faced with the difficult task of balancing their career with their desire for family. What advice would you give women struggling to “have it all” in today’s world?
There’s no such thing as balance. It’s more about navigating between work and life every day and doing it very imperfectly, as Ellen Galinsky of Families and Work Institute has said. I think it’s particularly useful for women to share what works for them and to be open with each other about how difficult it is. The problem begins when we feel isolated, stressed, and try to tackle it alone. We simply can’t clone ourselves into 150 different people. But if we’re engaged in communicating with other women who are going through the same struggle, we pick up tips on how to make it easier for us.
Can you share with readers one of the biggest challenges you faced in your path to success? How did you overcome that challenge?
Suffering from a food addiction, I was 50 pounds heavier over 30 years ago and ready to jump out of a window of my apartment. I didn’t see any hope in things being different. In my desperation I reached out for help and got it from a group of people who had knowledge about how not to hurt themselves with food. I realized that I needed to have more spiritual grounding if I was going to stop overeating for all the wrong reasons. I discovered a higher purpose for my life — to help women realize their authentic power and claim their voice and unique abilities. I started my company, Creative Expansions, Inc. with this mission.
Helene Lerner’s new book, In Her Power, is available now.
Sarah Stillman: Exclusive Interview (Part Two)
In today’s blog, we continue our exclusive interview with Soul Searching author Sarah Stillman. Read part one here.
Knowing what you know now, what single piece of advice would you give your 16-year-old self?
Looking back, I definitely blush to realize how totally fixated I was (and often still am) on the idea of “achievement” – on setting certain kinds of goals and accomplishing them as a way of measuring self-worth. I now suspect that it’s equally important to learn how to live with discomfort; not everything can be fixed and tied up with a tidy bow, and maybe it’s ok to thrash around sometimes, have no idea what you’re doing, and lack the answers entirely. In fact, the humility that comes from messing up seems like a big part of what makes us able to connect with other people and to live more generously, I think. It’s probably harder to have empathy if you haven’t been knocked low sometimes and admitted it to yourself. There are some things I’ve done in the past decade that made me feel totally incompetent. But I’d like to think those things were – and will continue to be – useful in bringing me back down to size and encouraging me to be aware of all of the privileges I’ve had in my life thus far, and all of the other possible perspectives.
Who is/was your biggest inspiration or hero?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about whistleblowers – people who stand up in environments where there’s some sort of injustice going on and decide to speak out about it, despite the obvious risk to themselves. I’ve worked on a few stories about whistleblowers lately, in a variety of contexts; many of these people never get the fame or glory associated with other social justice advocates, but their sacrifices are huge and definitely make me feel inspired.
What’s your perfect relaxation playlist?
I’m still a big Joni Mitchell fan. Right now I’m also loving Laura Marling, Patti Smith (relaxing isn’t exactly the word…), Gillian Welch, and my creative-genius friend Geo Wyeth (plus his band Jive Grave).
Flash Questions:
These questions are designed to be answered in a flash, ideally in less than 5 seconds each! Don’t overthink it. Just give us the first answer that comes to mind. This is supposed to be fun! Ready. Set. Go!
What is your favorite candle or fragrance? Lavender. Or anything that smells like dessert: vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg.
What was your favorite book growing up? I thought Pippi Longstocking was brilliant, and I still do.
Chocolate or Vanilla? Let’s go chocolate.
If we ran into you on the street, what song are we most likely to hear you humming? “How Come You Never Go There,” by Feist, has been in my head all week. And lately, for some weird reason, I wake up with Nintendo songs in my head – like the theme from Super Mario Brothers. Why, I really don’t know; maybe it’s because when I have insomnia, I sometimes try to work through old-school Super Mario levels in my head and remember the different songs associated with each scenario: the under-water song, the castle song, etc.
If you were trapped on a desert island, what book would you bring? I’d pick something by Walt Whitman, or, more likely, How to Escape if Trapped on a Desert Island.
What’s your guilty pleasure? I like infinitely clicking on various links when I’m supposed to be working on some piece of writing, and then justifying it to myself as “research”; it’s amazing how much time can be squandered this way, watching YouTube videos of cats dancing the conga, etc.
Mac or PC? Mac all the way. Although I’ve been encouraging fellow Mac users to listen to Mike Daisey’s podcasted play about his journey to a Mac factory in Shenzhen, China: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/454/mr-daisey-and-the-apple-factory
What was your favorite childhood toy? It’s simple, but I loved my soccer ball.
If you had a super power, what would it be? Zapping people with more compassion and thoughtfulness (self included) – like a “De-Selfish-ification” machine.
Sarah Stillman: Exclusive Author interview (Part One)
Recently, we had the pleasure of sitting down with Soul Searching author Sarah Stillman. Sarah is an inspiring example of what one teen can achieve. She originally sat down to write Soul Searching at the age of 16, and recently worked to fully update the title for today’s teens. Today, Sarah is a successful journalist whose work has appeared in The New Yorker.
In part one of our three part interview, Sarah discusses the origins of Soul Searching and some of the outcomes she hopes the book will achieve. You can learn more by joining the Soul Searching community on Tumblr and Facebook where you can share your own Soul Searching journey
How did you first decide to write Soul Searching?
More than anything, I wrote Soul Searching out of frustration. When I first decided to start working on the book, I was frustrated that most of the reading material available for teen girls assumed that they’d only be interested in boy bands and lip-gloss. I was frustrated, too, that most of the books about female adolescence focused on the various traumas that can afflict girls during that period: eating disorders, depression, drug addiction, and more. The sort of book I wanted to read – but couldn’t seem to find on shelves – was about how girls could actually take some control over their own lives and contribute to their communities: a book that took girls seriously as change agents in their homes, schools, and world. So, that was the book I sat down to write, naïve as it sounds. Luckily, I was oblivious to the many reasons I wasn’t qualified to do so, the most obvious being my age. I just started doing research on the topics I cared about – meditation, yoga, really basic philosophy stuff on “the good life” – and talking to other girls about the things they thought were important or interesting. That’s how the project got started.
What’s changed for girls between the time you wrote the book at age 16 and today? How have the challenges facing girls evolved?
So much! One obvious difference is that I never had to worry about all of the various social networking tools teens now have at their disposal to take gossip and bullying to new creative heights. I didn’t have a Facebook wall, or a Tumblr account, or even a cell phone back then. I barely had a functioning email address. Of course, the pre-social-networking days also meant that there were fewer ways for girls to connect with each other outside of their immediate communities, and fewer ways to find resources that might be helpful to them.
The Internet, in that respect, has been both a huge blessing and a serious curse. Without it, I think a lot of girls around the world would be living much more isolated, disconnected lives. But they also wouldn’t have to stress about the 1,001 ways in which online technologies complicate an already-difficult phase of their growing up. Somehow, for instance, online harassment seems a lot scarier to me than the mean notes my classmates scribbled in the back of science textbooks when I was in middle school. And while some young women are given a lot of support when it comes to handling the challenges of a hyper-networked world, a lot of girls have to figure out how to deal with all of this stuff on their own. That’s definitely not easy. But my guess is that being a teen girl was never easy. I don’t imagine our grandmas or great-grandmas had a much simpler time of it.
What do you see is the biggest challenge facing teens today? What advice would you give to help?
I think it can be hard to stand up for yourself and the things you want or need when you’re faced with so many conflicting messages about the things you’re supposed to want or need: whether it’s a particular brand of clothes or a particular kind of crush or a different body/ethnicity/personality/family/life. I think one thing I’ve learned from other girls who’ve made it through tough times is that it means a lot to find an ally – somebody who you can trust to listen to you and have your back. You just need one: a loyal friend; a teacher who believes in your talents; a godparent or an older sibling who you can turn to for advice. Then share what you’re facing with them. It’s pretty tough to navigate this time of life on your own, whether you’re just dealing with small, day-to-day frustrations like a friend’s betrayal at school, or huge, scary challenges like dating violence or a family health crisis. If you can’t find a person you trust, find something that brings you comfort until you do – an after-school sport that you can throw yourself into, a coffee shop or a community center where you feel comfortable, a band whose songs you want to play on repeat over and over again.
What sort of reception have you had for the book? In the new introduction, you mention that you’ve corresponded with readers from around the world — how has that impacted you?
I’ve learned an awesome, unbelievable amount from the girls around the world who’ve written me about the book. For one thing, it’s confirmed the hope that led me to write Soul Searching in the first place: girls really do care about the “big things” in life, and they want their big ideas to be taken seriously. I’ve also been humbled to hear about the challenges some girls are up against – both girls here in the U.S., who’ve often reached out because they’re trying to be brave amidst a lot of stress and chaos in their families, and girls elsewhere in the world, who increasingly turn to the Internet as a resource for solving problems that they would have otherwise faced alone. It’s been cool to hear about the creative visions many of these girls have – for starting their own companies some day, for instance, or writing their own books. But it’s often been equally inspiring to hear about the really simple, day-to-day things that girls want to vent: the courage they mustered to stand up to someone in their lives who was hurting them, for instance.
What’s the top thing you hope readers take away from your book?
I hope they’ll feel empowered to try new things, regardless of their “coolness” factor, and also realize that it’s OK to feel lost. It’s normal to flounder around. Everyone – seriously, everyone, from the popular girl in your class who’s always rolling her eyes at everyone to the President of the United States – feels insecure sometimes. It just goes with the territory of being human. What the book is about is realizing that there are concrete tools that can help us all get through the tough spots, feel more comfortable within ourselves, and feel like we’re a part of something larger – something that has meaning and real rewards.
Interview with Mary Hayes Grieco, author of Unconditional Forgiveness, Part Two
Today, we continue our exclusive interview with Mary Hayes Grieco, author of Unconditional Forgiveness.
You’ve worked with such diverse clients, even war veterans. Can you share a particular transformative experience you’ve witnessed?
I guess the most transformative forgiveness work I have been witness to has been the healing of severe sexual abuse: helping a woman to forgive her minister who assaulted her when she worked for him in the church office. She lived in hell about that for seven years, and then emerged free and clear after forgiving it. Shortly afterwards, I was called upon to help a man who had been a perpetrator of sexual abuse. He too was living in hell and in severe depression until he could forgive himself. Their suffering was so profound, on both sides of the story, victim and perpetrator. I learned a lot from seeing this.
Can your techniques be used to forgive our selves as well as others?
Yes. Self-forgiveness is very important, and it relies on the ability to view yourself and your situation from the perspective of spiritual level, a higher level of consciousness, than where your conditional human personality dwells. It is a different technique then the eight steps of forgiving another, and it is very simple and very powerful.
How do you define forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the refreshing experience of releasing an unrealistic expectation that has been causing us to suffer. It is a tool we use to let go of an emotional burden, and it creates a new openness and fresh new vitality inside us.
What if someone has done something terribly wrong? Should we forgive them?
I encourage people to practice “unconditional forgiveness”—live a life in which you forgive everyone and everything, no matter the size or severity of the insult. When we make the decision to forgive someone, we are not saying that what they did is excusable or okay on any level. What we are saying is that even though they did this (bad, wrong, immoral, awful, etc.) thing to us—we choose now to release the painful impact of that wrongdoing upon us, once and for all. Any time we forgive anything, big or small, we are doing it for ourselves—so we don’t have to carry the burden of stress and resentment. So you see, it is even more important to forgive the terrible things so that we can end the big suffering inside us.
Why do your Eight Steps work to get rid of an emotional problem?
The Eight Steps reliably work to get rid of an emotional problem because they address the issue through all the parts of our personality (will, body, emotions, mind), our spiritual nature (energy, body, and soul), our relationship to the other person, and to life itself. Because we address the wound on all levels, there isn’t a need to hold onto it any more, and it completely dissolves. The relief that comes from this letting go is permanent, and all that remains is the learning that took place from this experience—we turn the wound into wisdom!
Learn more about Mary and her Eights Steps to freedom in this exclusive video. Mary’s book, Unconditional Forgiveness, is on sale now.
Interview with Mary Hayes Grieco, author of Unconditional Forgiveness, Part One
Recently, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mary Hayes Grieco, author of Unconditional Forgiveness. Mary Hayes Grieco has taught her powerful method of forgiveness in a wide variety of venues since 1990. With her background in psychology, and her ten years of intensive personal training with Dr. Edith Stauffer PhD, Mary has refined her method of forgiveness, as well as the way it is taught in workshops, making this life-changing process accessible to everyone. This consistently effective program has transformed thousands of lives.
Her new book, Unconditional Forgiveness, offers equal doses of humor, compassion, and clarity, as she walks readers through each of the Eight Steps to Freedom to heal an emotional issue. By following this unique how-to guide, you’ll be bale to hurt less, love more, and experience more peace of mind every day.
My interview with Mary will be featured in two parts here on the blog. Be sure to check back tomorrow for the second half of this exclusive interview.
What makes your book on forgiveness so different than what’s been written in the past?
Most previous books about forgiveness focused heavily on why forgiveness is a good thing to do, but they were not so clear about how to do it. A lot of them were very intellectual and moralistic, and either too religious or lacking a spiritual framework. None of them adequately addressed the importance of honestly expressing the emotions, or drawing on the healing light available in the subtle energy body. Unconditional Forgiveness is the first book that goes into clear detail about a step-by-step method of forgiveness that includes all the levels of our being—physical, emotional, energetic, spiritual. This makes the method powerfully effective and it has brought swift and permanent relief to thousands of people for forty years.
The other difference in this book is its tone—it’s light and accessible and fun to read. It addresses forgiveness issues from the mundane to the catastrophic, in a universal spiritual language, and with both compassion and a sense of humor.
When we think about forgiveness, we automatically think about major transgressions—relationships ending, death, trauma, but what about the minor transgressions like neighbors and coworkers that drive you crazy? Can your techniques help with our everyday challenges?
Most people’s forgiveness concerns play out on the everyday level—frustration with your spouse or kids, little fights with an unreasonable neighbor, dealing with the mistakes of a coworker that make your job more difficult. Some of these scenarios play out every day—day after day—and layers of tension build up around them, making daily life more difficult and less joyful. We have the power to increase the peace in our immediate world, and, if more people live the principle of forgiveness as a daily habit, we will increase the peace on a global level. Every act of forgiveness creates a powerful “ripple effect.”
As the holidays approach, many people dread the inevitable family gatherings. What advice would you give to people suffering this holiday season?
I recommend that if you know you are going to be tense or resentful with someone at the holiday table, you take some time in advance and do some “pre-emptive forgiveness.” Sit down with Unconditional Forgiveness and make a short list of individuals you need to be more accepting of and release your expectations of them ahead of time. See what common ground you share, however small, and find one or two good things about them to focus on when you are in the room with them. Also, make some real choices about what you do and don’t do during the holidays, so you can enjoy some of it exactly on your own terms, and surrender peacefully to the other situations, exactly as they are.
You’ve called the need to forgive a public health issue. Can you talk about that?
Studies show that emotional resentments cause an accumulation of stress in the body, and this can cause disease. Everyone you know is walking around with some unresolved issue or other, and it’s merely because as a society we don’t understand and teach the process of emotional healing. These days, most people agree that you shouldn’t smoke cigarettes, that you need to exercise, drink water, and eat your fruits and vegetables. It’s common public health knowledge. I believe we are on the brink of widely recognizing that forgiveness is a life skill and a good health habit that can be taught, just like we teach reading or driving or good health habits. It will reduce stress-related illness, marital disruption, and violence—because violence has roots in shame, which is a self-forgiveness issue.
Part two of our exclusive interview with Mary Hayes Grieco will be posted here on the Trend Watch blog tomorrow. Stay tune to learn more about Unconditional Forgiveness.
