On Jan 8th-10th we had the first annual 12-Step Buddhist Retreat at Breitenbush Hot Springs. Starting with simple versions from my book and adding concepts and examples that were suited to the group and the situation, we took our practice to the limit. We related principles from the 12 Steps with the Aspects of Self dialogs and some Buddhist meditations.

We had about 40 people from six states. The mix was about half men, half women; a mother-daughter, a few therapists, husbands and wives, codependents, alcoholics, sex and gambling addicts. We gathered for the weekend to talk about integrating the 12 Steps and Buddhism based on my book, The 12-Step Buddhist.

I knew people would be arriving stressed from travel. Breitenbush is a good ways up in the mountains. Those coming from out of state had to rent cars. I’d successfully predicted that retreatants would be excited but apprehensive. Although I’d been doing short workshops for three years, this was my first full retreat. The plan was simple: open up hearts to ourselves and each other.

To begin, everyone gave an introduction with a description of their history in recovery, reasons for coming, and a goal for the weekend experience. We did a guided meditation to bring up awareness to the physical aspect of being “closed.” This awareness of the body served as a baseline and helped us understand how the experience of opening would progress over the weekend. I asked everyone to commit to a process of unfolding and, to that end, follow some simple rules: don’t isolate, try to reach past your limits and show up to all the sessions. Everybody did a great job.

In the rest of the sessions we began with silent meditations before considering topics such as Tonglen: exchanging self for others. In the Aspects of Self Dialogs we spoke to and from and as the voices of the Skeptic, Controller, Addict, Sufferer. The retreat had a monumental turning point when we considered the practice of offering our dinner, then our iPhone, then our health to our favorite loved one, a close friend, someone neutral and then “the enemy.” Someone said they felt like a martyr. So I asked to speak to The Martyr. By the time we were through with that session most of our guts were all over the floor. The group began to open and reach out to and trust each other. It was straining and awesome.

Eventually someone mentioned the Buddhist practice of taking refuge. We discussed different aspects and the real meaning of this and spoke to the Mind that Bears Witness, a voice that’s connected to the AA 3rd Step prayer, as well as the practice of refuge. When we got to the point where the group understood what refuge is a little bit deeper, we sang a Buddhist refuge melody.

I tried to engage each person over the course if the weekend, slowly learning their names and areas where they had trouble connecting. Some people are more front stage than others. Some need to be drawn out a bit more. But everyone made progress—more or less at their own pace. I do push beyond the envelope of comfort at times.

The feedback was extraordinary. The overwhelming concern was how we could continue to foster the connection we all felt. When we got home, we all began participating in the 12-Step Buddhist Google Group. If you’re an addict in recovery who is interested in Dharma, please feel free to sign up. We’ll be back at Breitenbush in January, 2011. Perhaps you’ll join us? For articles, podcasts and a calendar of events, visit the12stepbuddhist.com.

12-Step Buddhist Retreat

The Gang

Darren Littlejohn